When it rains, it pours

With my family, if something goes wrong, it usually creates a domino effect. This is what has been going on recently....

A couple weeks ago, my cute Grandma fell and ended up needing 7 stitches across her eyebrow.She has had trouble breathing and has been on oxygen. She went into the hospital and they drained fluid from her lungs. When they tested it, they found some cancer cells. They did a scan and found that she has ovarian cancer which has spread to her lungs, causing them to fill up with fluid. We don't know her prognosis yet, or how much time we have left with her. I love my Grandma so much and I'm so worried about her.

The day before we left for Bear Lake my Mom ended up in the ER with major stomach pains. She went to Bear Lake anyway, and did lots of relaxing, because it hurt for her to move around a lot. She had a scan done when she got home and will be needing her gallbladder out. I'm so thankful it wasn't something much worse, and that she was able to still enjoy our vacation.

While we were at Bear Lake, we got a call from my uncle letting us know that my Grandpa has fallen 4 different times. He was taken to the hospital and treated for severe dehydration. I'm so worried about Grandpa, especially now that I am living there and caring for him. He is very stubborn, and will not accept any outside help which is frustrating. He also has a walker which just sits in the corner. I love him so much and would hate for something to happen to him, especially when we're not home.

And last but not least, on Saturday Lee ended up in the ER with chest pains. Let's just say that me being worried was and understatement. Luckily, it was a flare up with his gallbladder and some Upper GI problems. Who knew that your gallbladder could cause chest pain? Because of Lee's personal and family history they did a whole heart work up and found nothing wrong. What a relief! I can't imaging my life without Lee and I love him so much. I'm so grateful that he is OK and that it wasn't something more serious.

So, with all that happening, I guess you could say...

When it rains, it pours.

Bear Lake

The last few days we have been in Bear Lake. We had such a great time! It's hard to come back, but you know what they say...All good things must come to an end.

We had a great time, lounging on the beach and playing in the sand.

My parents were kind enough to rent a Jetski for the day. We all had such a blast taking it out.

The condo had a huge grassy area that was perfect for playing games.Thanks for a fun vacation everyone!

Feeling Frustrated

I talked with our adoption case worker today and because we moved to Pleasant Grove, we are required to move our adoption records to the American Fork office. We have to get a new home study done, a background check on my Grandpa, and get a new Bishop's reference letter. We also have to pay a fee to have all that done. Since Lee has been unemployed we are also required to update our financial records. None of that is really a problem, and we knew we were going to have to do these things, I'm just frustrated. I'm tired of having to jump through so many hoops for us to have a baby.

She also asked me that since Lee is going to school, if I would be working if we got a baby before he was finished with school. I told her that I would most likely be working full time until he finished. Before we were hoping that I could cut back to part time but with our current situation right now, that is not possible. She told me that it might be harder for someone to pick us if I can't stay home. What am I supposed to do, just quit my job and go on welfare? I don't think so. I would love more than anything to be a stay at home mom. I am so excited Lee is going to school because it is going to give us a more stable future, and hopefully make that possible. I would hope that any birth mother out there would recongnize that and know that I have a goal of being able to stay home, but our priority has changed so Lee can finish his school and we will work towards that goal once he has found a stable job.

I constantly keep wishing I could just get pregnant like everyone else I know. I don't want to question the Lord and ask why this trial has been given to me but that is so hard sometimes. I look around at so many people I know, and see how easy it is for them to get pregnant and wonder why I can't have that wonderful blessing. Was I meant to never be a mother? I'm sure in the years down the road I'll look back at this trial and realize what lesson I was supposed to learn, but right now I just want to have a baby.

My Poor Little Peanut

Kota got fixed a couple days ago. He is doing fine now, but the first couple days he was pretty sore. He was licking his stitches so we had to put the cone on him. He didn't like it too much so as you can see, he tried to get it off. He is pretty much back to his normal self, running around and getting into things.

Lee is a student now!

As most of you know, Lee lost his job a month ago. That was the second time in 9 months that has happened and we have both been very discouraged. He has applied for numerous positions, and has only gotten 2 interviews which have not given any success. Lee has wanted to go to school for a few years now. We decided to stop thinking about it and to just do it. Yesterday he applied to Stevens Henager College to obtain a Bachelors Degree in Health Care Administration. It is a 36 month long course and we are very excited. Lee is such a dedicated person and refuses to fail so I know he will do great. We know this next few years will be hard, and that we may struggle along the way, but it will also be very rewarding. We are thankful to all of you and the support you continue to give us. Wish Lee luck as he begins this journey!