Jeepin Fun

Yesterday we went Jeepin out at West Mountain. They had some fun mud puddles to go through and gave us a great opportunity to get down and dirty! I love going jeepin, it's always so much fun!

An Amazing Story

I came across this blog on KSL. This family has gone through so much and has had so much faith. It is such an amazing story and has given me a differant outlook on life. You'll have to go into her archive on February 1st, where their story begins. Oh, and be prepared to cry. You'll want to have tissues in hand.

www.stakerzxposed.blogspot.com

How could I forget?

Last night as we were getting ready for bed, Lee asked me what the date was. I told him it was Feburary 8th, and he replied "Isn't today our Temple Anniversary?". I couldn't beleive I had forgotten such an important day. That is the day we became a forever family and one of the best days of my life.

I am so blessed to have such a wonderful husband. He spoils me so much and I take that for granted a lot of the time. He cooks, he cleans, and even goes grocery shopping while I'm at work. He's been a straight A student since he started school and is on the Dean's list. I am so proud of him and I know he will be successful when he's done with school.

I love you Honey...Happy Anniversary!

Faith makes things possible...Not easy

I came across this quote, and I just loved it. With all the emotions I have been going through, reading that put peace in my mind that everything really will be OK. Faith really does make things possible, even if it's not always easy.

Going through a miscarriage after all we did to try to have a baby was definitely hard. Our journey is not over though, and I am not giving up on trying to have a family. I don't know when we will try again, but we will. I'll admit that I am more scared now to try again than I was the initial time because I'm scared of losing another baby, but I can't let that stand in my way. I have to give it another try and have faith that it will work out for us.

I just don't understand

These past few days I have spent a lot of time reflecting on the trial of going through a miscarriage. I'll admit that I am still very disappointed and angry. I still don't understand why this had to happen after all that I had put my body through to try to have a baby. So much time and effort has been wasted and I want to know why. I don't think I will ever have the answer to that question.

It would be different if I were able to get pregnant naturally. I would say that I would simply just try again. I wish it were that easy for me. In order for me to try again, I would have to undergo the whole IVF process all over again, which I would be willing to do if I were in a position to do so.

I know trials throughout our lives are meant to help us grow and to shape us into better, stronger people. I have become stronger with my trials, but this one has seemed to really kick me down, and I'm having a hard time bouncing back. I am struggling with what the lesson to be learned is right now. I know without a doubt that I would make an excellent mother and I can't figure out for the life of me why I cannot have that blessing. I am a good person. I haven't done much wrong in my life. So why is it so impossible for me to become a mother?

Hopefully someday I will have the answer to my questions, but in the mean time, all I can do is continue to have faith and hope that I can find some peace and understanding. I have so many things in my life to be thankful for and I have to focus on those things right now. I have a wonderful husband who loves me unconditionally. A family who has laughed and cried with me, and friends who have supported me. I also have my dogs, who fill that huge void in my life where a child should be. They have been my kids over the years and I am so grateful for them.