Kota, our little Peanut, died unexpectedly on August 7th. Everything happened so fast, and I can't stop replaying it in my head. He was the sweetest little dog, and my heart is broken over his loss.
I was sitting on the couch watching the Olympics, and Kota and Lily were on my lap. Gracie was sitting in Lee's seat next to me. I turned off the TV, and said "lets go to bed", and the 2 little ones jumped down and headed across the room to their kennels. Gracie jumped down and the next thing I know, she is on top of Kota. I yelled "Gracie!" and she jumped off and ran to her kennel. Kota was already unconscious. I picked him up and started yelling up the stairs to Lee. Kota was bleeding profusely out of his nose and all I could do was hold him over the sink, knowing he was dying in my arms. Blood was everywhere. Lee ran back up stairs and grabbed a towel to wrap him in, and we headed to the emergency vet, knowing he wasn't going to make it.We had to get him out of the house though.
The next morning we went and picked him up, and took him to our regular vet for cremation. Dr. Berry looked at Kota and came in and spoke with us for a moment about what had happened. He thought Kota had gotten into some rat poison which caused all the bleeding. He was shocked to find out it was due to Gracie.
My first reaction was that Gracie attacked Kota. There was a couple of previous incidents where Gracie had bitten Kota, requiring stitches. With this tragedy now, we knew it was time to find Gracie a new home. I posted an ad on KSL and we were starting to get some response to that. The next day I found myself remembering more than I had previously though. I called Dr. Berry and had him confirm that there were no puncture wounds on Kota. Gracie did not bite him. She did pounce, but it wasn't done in an aggressive manner. She simply crushed his little body under her. With Gracie being 105 pounds on top of Kota's little 9 pound body, it was simply an accident. He also pointed out that if a dog is in attack mode, it's not just going to stop once you yell their name. He said the fact that she immediately jumped up when I yelled her name and ran to her kennel is a good indicator that she wasn't attacking him, and it more probable that it was just a tragic accident. Another thing he pointed out was the fact that an aggressive dog would be aggressive towards more than just one dog, and that at some point she would've gone after Lily too. That has never happened, and so it seems this incident is in no relation to the prior incidents with Kota. That obviously changed things for us in regards of sending her to a new home. It's been devastating enough losing Kota, but the thought of losing Gracie too has been very hard for us. We were advised by Dr. Berry to not make any decisions on her while we are still emotional over the loss of Kota. We obviously want to make the best decision for not only Gracie but for us, especially with a baby on the way. We don't know what the future holds for now, but we are taking the time to grieve and we will make those decisions down the road.
These last few days have been very hard for us. I keep replaying it all in my head over and over again. I'm not sure how long it will take me to get over this, but I know those images will never go away. I'm so devastated. I keep praying I can find peace, and reminding myself that Kota didn't suffer. He died quickly and he is with Syd and Maggie now in doggie heaven. I pray he can forgive me for not being able to save him.
