The Lord giveth, and the Lord taketh away

On Friday January 22nd, Lee and I found out that the IVF Procedures we underwent worked, and I was pregnant. We were both so nervous while the test was running, and as soon as we found out, the tears of joy came bursting out. We were so excited since we weren't able to freeze any embryos and this is our only shot. We were so grateful and felt very blessed.

While we were in California I found these key chains in Hollywood that said Grandma and Grandpa on them. I thought that would be a cute way to tell my parents. So, after we found out, we headed over to my Dad's work to tell him and then over to my Mom's work to tell her. They were just expecting a phone call, but I had to tell them in person.
My mom knew I was taking the test early and was expecting a phone call around 7:30. When I hadn't called yet, she started to get really nervous thinking that it didn't work and I was sitting in the car crying because I was upset and didn't want to call. Well, She was wrong! We walked into her office around 8:00 with her key chain and a balloon, and as you can see by the picture, she was happy. She was screaming and crying and hugging me so tight! It was so great to be able to tell her and to see her reaction.

That night after I got home from work, I gave Lee this small gift. It's a Detroit Redwings onesie, bib and booties. He has made it clear that this baby will be a Redwings and Lions fan, and that no matter if it's a boy or a girl we are bringing that baby home in this jersey. It's to bad that won't be happening now.

On January 25th and again on the 27th I took a test, and the level was rising really well. On the night of Thursday the 28th, I had a horrible dream that I had a miscarriage. I woke up and went straight to the bathroom with such a bad feeling in my gut, only to find that I was spotting. That morning, Friday January 29, I went in to work and did another test. My HCG level had dropped. My heart sank and I called the Dr. immediately. The nurse basically told me that the pregnancy wasn't thriving and to stop taking all my meds. She said to call the Dr. on Tuesday to discuss further options. We are obviously very disappointed and are at a loss right now as to what to do.

Lee and I are both so devastated, especially since everything up to that point was going so well. I didn't have any symptoms to worry about until that morning when my HCG level took a dramatic drop. We don't understand why the Lord has given us this trial. I'll admit that I am questioning the Lord right now, wondering why this had to happen. I'll never understand the Lord's reasoning, all I can do is try to continue to have faith and to learn and grow from this trial. We are not ready to give up on having a family, so we have to have faith that someday this will happen for us.

We just want to thank each of you for all of your support and your prayers. We have the best friends and family in all of you, and we couldn't go through this experience without all of you behind us.